What I Would Do.

As the knee problems continue, I have been really looking forward to my trip to the orthopaedic specialist. Though there website is a little ghetto, they have some links to some really helpful information about my knee dislocations! It really made me a bit more curious so I have been checking out a lot of links.

Okay. Sqeemish alert. Might wanna school past this picture if you are a baby :P

Okay. So there it is, you can see the little patella chillin' up on the femur, and that isn't right! A good knee is all lined up and the little patella sits on the "pillow" in the right hand picture.

NOW. Little did I know that there were things called "partial dislocations". This is caused when the knee cap is literally "on the fence" about going out. The knee will usually look a tad funny for just a second, and find its way either IN the proper placement or OUT of placement, depending on what the unsuspecting victim is doing at the time.

My last major dislocation was in August, just a few months ago. I was just dancing in my room and that little sucker popped out, and then went back in again on its own accord. Nowadays, dislocations like this don't affect me too much. My ligaments are probably really stretched by now, so I don't have much soreness, and there isn't really bruising when it is only out for a second. Good?

LITTLE DID I KNOW. I have been a victim to "partial dislocations" pretty much all of my life! I have described it before as knee-buckling, feeling like I can't put weight, sharp pain when trying to straighten or bend- AND you guessed it, that strange twang of the ligaments that I have been having lately. In all of these cases, my gut reaction is to hit my knee (which looks really stupid when I walk everywhere....) and also I will take my knee in my hands, slowly bend and straighten with my hands keeping my knee from going out. I usually feel or even hear just a little click or pop and then I am good again (until the next 10 steps).

Dislocations also cause lots of destruction of the cartilage which could be an issue in my case (little pieces hanging out in there that makes me want to cry when I run). It is also possible that I have a combination of problems with my joints so really, that is what the doctor is for.

I have been a tad distressed lately, realizing that the solution to these problems is surgery. First off, I am worried about the success rate. I am worried that this will always be a problem for me. Secondly- and this may be completely shallow of me- I don't want the scars. Now I know they are just little, but really. Anytime I put on a swimsuit, wear a pretty dress, slip into some shorts for summer- there they will be. I guy can just cover it up with all his leg hair, but girls, come on! I already have enough negative thoughts about my body, I honestly don't want another.

But then I started thinking what I would do.
I would take a dance class
I would run further
I would throw frisbees and footballs with my friends
I would hike, and not worry
I would go skiing
I would be able to sit in a movie without thinking how badly my knees hurt being all bent :(
I would do lunges
I would do more yoga
I would run faster
I would dance crazy with my friends
I would be free to chase my future kiddos at the park
I would be able to walk around disneyland without ibuprofin
I would be able to have fun now without pain later
I would be happier
I would be healthier
I would do all the things I've had to quit.


I am so excited to start the process of getting this taken care of, so I can finally do all the things I want to do!

October, October, I'm so glad you're ober...

OKAY. I made it. This has been the busiest month I have ever had, and likely the most challenging test of knowledge, motivation, productivity, study habits, and faith that I have ever had!

Throughout October, I have taken a total of 14 exams and quizzes. Think on that for a second. 14!? How is there enough time in the month? In the typical work week (I am not going to count Sunday in my percentages because I don't work on that day) I am in class for 18 hours. That's about 12% of my week. Now in the typical week I sleep 8 hours, which takes up about 33% of my week. So already by attending class and sleeping, that's more than 45% of my time! Now I have homework for about 2 hours a day, that brings the total to 53%. And next, I study for each exam, up to 3 hours+ every few days! Now we have the necessary items adding up to around 60%. Add in eating, extra long homework sessions, study sessions, shopping, church callings, driving, and crying, we are up to like 1306749%

Yea, I am exhausted. The worst part about a time like this is that there is no "resting" from the stress. As much as you tell yourself to take a break from memorizing a bazillion definitions, you still worry about it when you are trying to sit back and watch a movie, or read a book, or even eat a tasty treat! As I have expressed already, studying isn't done until the test is over. There is always more information to take in, more things to brush up, etc. Taking 5 history based classes is difficult because there is TONS of memorization. I have been blessed more than ever with a mind that is able to distinguish the hundreds of terms I have thrown at it this past month.

Wednesday night was definitely a rough one. I was still preparing for another exam and I also had two more essays to write by Friday. Boy, I was worn out. Just when I thought I couldn't handle it anymore, I woke up and went to class in the morning only to discover this:

The first fruits of my labor! I studied for hours on this exam. Hours. I have never studied so hard in my life. Honestly, when I saw that I got 100% it definitely increased my hope for humanity. The weirdest thing is, despite all of the suckiness of this past month, everything seemed better once I was able to see the benefits of my hard work. I am now more motivated then ever to keep at it! I doubt all my scores will be 100s, but its great knowing I really tried the best I could.

In other news, I discovered some really great trail mix like snack from Walmart called "Cranberry Nut Antioxidant". It is a blend of almonds, cranberries, and sunflower seeds. It is definitely calorically dense, but when I didn't have time for food, grabbing a handful and running out the door really kept my spirits up! I think I kinda ate most of the cranberries out of it, but I will probably just add a bag to the nuts and seeds that are still left over. Nummy!

Halloween is just around the corner. At this point, I am not 100% sure what I am doing! The church is having an activity which seems fun, but it involves dancing and my date isn't really a fan :P We definitely want to carve pumpkins and some point (I know it's a little late but we can't really keep pumpkins for long inside the dorms anyways) for traditions' sake. There is also a haunted town that gets set up around halloween in Pullman that has several haunted houses and such. We have some friends that are going to that so we might join them! Whatever we do, I am sure it will be fun though! I love not having tests to worry about! :DD

Well folks, this chicky is wiped out. Goodnight, and hopefully I will be able to post more now that I am not so terribly busy!
-Arianne

TLC

Thought I needed to give my blog a little tender loving care. It's been far too long since I last posted!

Life is pretty much going on as one would expect. This week I have a lot of midterms so I have been pretty drained as far as that goes. This week I have a test in my Classical Christian Europe class Monday, Wednesday, and Friday! Can you believe that? Yesterday we had to write an essay about Socrates, tomorrow I am writing about Afrocentrism, Black Athena, and Not Out of Africa (all pretty interesting ideas, actually. The Black Athena is an afrocentric research book attempting to prove that all the people of Rome and Egypt were black. Not Out of Africa is a rebuttal to this research). And then on Friday, I have a test about the rise of Rome. Then I also have an exam in my World Civilizations class on Thursday and next week an exam for my American History class. The real problem with studying is that it is NEVER done. There is always something more you can learn, always more chapters to read. Hopefully tomorrow I will get a few solid hours in for my World Civ exam.
Today I was SOOO tired. Last year I seem to remember staying up so late and waking up in the morning without problems. This year I have tried to get in bed at a decent hour, but the time always gets away from me. Even though I was complaining in my head, I woke up and went to my Human Development class about Family Diversity. Today we had to write an essay about why a Native American student wouldn't like writing a paper about the significance of Thanksgiving.

In other news, that teacher is starting to drive me a liiiiittle crazy with some things she says. She really is a wonderful person and has been very helpful when I need help with assignments and stuff, but she talks about equality in a way that I don't quite understand. Now, I will be the first to admit that I am completely naive when it comes to racism. Basically my only experiences with it have been in conversations in college (The first time someone said something it took me a minute to realize they were actually serious. How could these children get this far in life without getting a talking to?!), but anyways, my teacher was leading a class discussion about the Indo-European value of Equality and how European immigrants don't really practice what they preach. OBVIOUSLY there is a rough history there (slavery, Japanese camps, shipping native americans off to boarding schools) but are do we not have equal opportunities today? Are black students denied public schooling? Are Mexicans not allowed to work? Are women forced to stay at home and live as servants to a demanding husband? To the best of my knowledge- No. Where there ARE differences among the opportunities that money provides. Wealthier people can afford more things. When I brought this up in class, one other student suggested that money lends itself to inequality. He didn't seem to happy when I said it was communism to take away money from the rich and give the the poor so all could be "equal"...

World Civ was after that. I just kinda sat there and studied for my test and helped my Chinese friend understand the prompts for the essays. He is having a rough time. It doesn't help that the professor can hardly speak English himself. Me and Zhu can't decide what kind of Asian he is. That's pretty much how we spend our class period.

American history is going very well. It's a great way to end my school day! I feel like I am learning a lot. This teacher is definitely one of my absolute favorites. He does a great job of making class interesting. I find myself scanning a lot of the homework he gives us because it is so great at teaching, I want it for my future class!

Lunch today was a nice salad. That's pretty much the usual for me. I have become a victim of my stress for the past two weeks and kinda trashed my body with junk food to "unwind". FYI- Treating your body bad just makes you feel worse! I am happy to be going back to more "light" foods. Of course, with the occasional treat ;)

Eric and I watched the next Terra Nova today. Honestly, the newest one made me tear up a few times. As Eric will tell you, I am becoming an emotional sap lately. Anything that is just slightly cheesy makes me have to whip a tear away! I think it is the product of- you guessed it- more stress. I really just need to go on a vacation to somewhere next to a pool where I someone will bring me a nice lemonade with one of those little drink umbrellas. I am sure that would fix me.

After that we went to Subway! We don't really eat off campus very much, but we had planned to go on a little date sometime this week. In my mind I just really wanted a sandwich though, so why go to some place that will charge like 10 bucks for a sandwich that I will probably be less content with then the wonderful joys of Subway? It's fun because we got a free cookie after for filling out the survey :)

After you add a quick little trip to the gym, pretty much brings us to this point. This was a long post, so thanks for reading! I won't be in school forever, so I have to savor the chatter about my classes :P

P.S.
As for Pullman, it is just a wonderful place. It is kind of silly, but I just look at everything and think it is so beautiful! I wish I could live here forever! Unfortunately there are no jobs, and little to do if you aren't a student. But *sigh* it is completely lovely!